hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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