friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
