You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
