Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
