I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
