That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
