I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
