It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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