They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had to cum in my sink.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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