I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
