i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
