Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
