Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
