i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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