I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
