We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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