your parents love me but you hate me
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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