Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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