Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
someone owes me an orgasm
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
