omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize