I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
