wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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