how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
