She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
