I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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