The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.