I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend