Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs