I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
