I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
there is puke in my bra ... again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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