This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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