I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize