You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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