Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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