My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
that may or may not have been my penis.
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