If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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