she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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