therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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