I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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