he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
