Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want her autograph on my taint
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Randomize
