Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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