I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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