yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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