nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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