She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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