Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
