doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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