He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
