If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
