absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
