i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
