so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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