I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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