it's like iHOP with fire
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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