There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
