32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
